Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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