Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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