He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you would pick up someone in the library
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
