her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
