I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
