it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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