I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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