ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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