I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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