So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
