Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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