Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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