nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
