How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
