Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
