Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
