I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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