Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
