Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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