It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
