People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are we still banned from the library?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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