Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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