think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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