currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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