my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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