Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
