thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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