So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
