did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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