im having a threesome with these popsicles
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize