Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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