I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
