Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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