I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
