It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
