Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
