i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
