please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
