adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
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Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang