Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
