So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.