i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
