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• (209): View more from California

  I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.

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• (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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• (817): View more from Texas

  After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

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