sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
