I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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