we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
