...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The power of my boobs compel you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
