so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
