I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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