so that wasnt chicken after all
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
