So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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