38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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