would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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