If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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