Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize