Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
