Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
