Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
