the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
