I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dick very happy bro
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
