ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
