I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
tell me about the fingering
Randomize