3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
