Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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